Friday, April 3, 2009

giving up...for now

So I've decided to quit house-hunting for a while.  Apparently we may not even be qualified for the loan we were already told we could get now!  The credit score minimums have been raised again (just within the last week) so the fact that we were waiting on Rose's birth to finalize the prequalification may mean that we no longer qualify and can't even get the FTHB loan now...not that it was helping us much anyway.  I just feel so disgusted with it all that I don't even want to try anymore.  I had just so hoped that something would have changed for us by now...even though I know we had no other options when we came here, and I am thankful that we at least had this one.  We just spent so much time thinking my credit would be repaired enough to qualify us by February only to be told AGAIN that it's  not good enough!  I just felt so down about it all yesterday that I spent the entire afternoon in bed.  I know this sounds horribly self-indulgent and melodramatic but I feel like it just goes to show that it never pays for me to get my hopes up about anything.  We have no money saved up...my credit is FAR & AWAY better than Patrick's and it is STILL not even good enough to qualify us for anything and I just feel stuck here with no space or home of our own.  And I absolutely HATE feeling like this right now when my little girl is about to come into the world.  I know this is a happy time and I don't want to be negative but I just can't help being upset about it.  I want to settle down someplace and feel like we have SOMETHING that is OURS!  We can't even really consider renting because we'd never find a place that would accept all of our animals...and in the event that we could, I'm sure the pet fees would be OUTRAGEOUS!  I know that I should look on the bright side and think about the fact that we have a roof over our heads and food to eat and all of that but I just feel so let down about it right now that it's hard to look for the silver lining.  And at this point, I don't know that I can EVER repair my credit enough to qualify us for a decent home...finances SUCK!!!

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